WHD_blog

Are You One Of Those Feminists Then?

How about this then.....  I was in conversation with a smart, educated, twentysomething, professional woman the other day who commented 'You are pretty cool Jane, you are not like a feminist atall.' Well compliments aside, I could not help but ask 'so, what is a feminist then?'  she then continued 'Oh ya know women that hate men.'  Oh dear, how did this happen?

Her response goes some way to explaining why I always end up justifying myself whenever someone asks me if I am a femininst or not.  For me and thousands of other women in their forties being a feminist is simply about subscribing to equality at work, the expectation of being treated as an equal in terms of my intellect, capabilities, opportunties and compensation.  However, let me be clear I do not want to be treated like a man.  I accept men and women are different, want different things, play different games and I certaintly do not want to be one.  However, I definitey have a weakness for them, in fact I LOVE men!

How depressing is it that young women see the feminist label as negative, aggressive and something to disassociate from.  Maybe we need a new word or term to describe a strong, sassy, confident, smart and successful woman - oooooh!  I know what about A WELL HEELED DIVA!

And for the record yes I am a feminist!

Teenage Mums = Thirtysomething Grans!

How about this then........  A few weeks ago a fellow Diva was driving to work and spotted a homemade banner on a roundabout saying 'Happy 30th Nan!'  The thought that the  'Nan'  in question could be a great granny at my age simply floored me!

Should we be questioning this?  is it OK for our society to encourage and support an ever increasing number of teenage mums?

Personally, apart from the ever present exception, this makes me sad.  Sad for missed opportunities, lack of life experience, lack of independence and a waste of talent and aspiration.  Don't get me wrong, I am not undermining motherhood, on the contrary, it is by far our greatest role but how can these girls be mothers when they have barely even left childhood? And what about the life model they pass on - their legacy?

This is a complex issue.  There are no black and white solutions.  As someone who is passionate about raising the aspirations and self belief of teenage girls I am pro-active in this area and would love to hear your views as to why they want babies so young?

What do ya think Divas?

Your Fired! Your Loss Sir Alan!

My latest addiction The Apprentice continues to support my view that corporate careers are a minefield for women.  It is a constant tightrope walk. Be yourself and risk Sir Alan's roth or change your natural style and position and behave like a man and be a target for the B word and induce many of  the female population to froth at the mouth in depair and disgust! 

It is my view that if you want to succeed in this game or any other organisation driven by male values you simply have to learn the rules.

The boardroom is a battleground - you have to be ready to fight, stand your ground and flash your medals.  Modesty is NOT an option, neither is deferring your success to your team and admitting your weaknesses is corporate suicide.

This week's casualty, the level-headed, ego-free, creative, team player Paula, a HR Manager from the Midlands highlights the plight of many bright, ambitious career women in the UK.  She did not sell herself, defend herself nor take credit for her contribution.  Faced by the aggression of her fellow contenstent Ben, who quite rightly was fighting for his life, she stood back looking shocked at his tactics to frame her.

On top of this she was too honest about her weaknesses, the dreaded F word (finances) and she dared to lead by conscensus and buy in as opposed to control and command - doomed from the start!

Is it any wonder that women are leaving the UK corporate sector in droves?  Over the past 5 years around 40% of female, senior level managers have walked, they site lack of flexibility in terms of working hours and work/life balance as the core reason, but I am not buying that are you?

Anyway, no doubt Paula will carve a new career for herself, one where she can remain authentic and be proud of her true self.  You go girl! 

Divas - Can you be too Well Heeled?

I was flicking through the statutory, glossie mags at the hairdressers this week when I found a very detailed article on tips for wearing high heels.  I don't know about you but when we need advice and a full page of handy tips on how to reduce the pain and discomfort of tottering around in stilettos maybe we have raised the bar too high?

Don't get me wrong, I love a pair of sexy heels, or taxi shoes as my husband affectionately refers to them, as much as the next diva but some of the shoes on display in the shops at the moment belong on a drag queen or a porn movie - or both!

7/8 inch heels shaped like a nail with ankle straps and a 2 inch platform are my idea of torture.  Forgive me for sounding like your mother but what damage are we doing to our feet, ankles, backs, knees and what about our posture?  Honestly, I have seen women and young girls trying to walk in these contraptions and it is neither pretty nor sexy.  The grimace with every step, the lurch forward as they try to balance and the bunions ouch!

Speaking as a not so well heeled diva that fell of her 5 inch heels a few years ago and broke her foot (6 weeks on crutches) I simply cannot comprehend why we buy into the fashion hype here.  Personally divas, sometimes I think we simple need to say NO!

Diva Diane’s Vision Shines Like the Star she is!

The Divas were out in style on Friday at the North West Women in Business Awards Dinner at the Park Royal Hotel, Warrington and all our glam preparations were not in vain as we looked on like proud parents as one of our own won the top award for Professional Advisor – yes our fellow Diva Diane Pilling, Founder and MD of Affordable Accounts Group was nominated and walked away with the accolade – We cheered her on and it was a great night –so many inspiring women, so many party frocks, so many connections and so little time! Well done Diane – we salute you and felt honoured to share your moment! Check out Diane’s business at

www.affordableaccounts.co.uk

New Year Banality reaches Fever Pitch!

At the last count my inbox has received 78 banal, predictable emails in the past week alone, inviting me to review 2008, beat myself up for all the things I did not achieve, but promise me 2009 can be mine so long as I buy this gadget, do this course or read this book!

No more, I plead.  I am more than capable of self flaggelation without any prompting and if I hear credit crunch or economic downturn one more time I cannot be held responsible for my actions!

So, my only contribution to this never ending noise (roll on February) is this.....

Life is for loving - regardless of the month, the year, the economic climate or your personal circumstances.  Love is all there is - Find it in yourself, nurture it, share it and 2009 will be amazing!

DIVADOM ROCKS!

But don't take our word for it – here are some genuine comments from women that have recently participated on the STEPPING UP workshop.

'One word is all I have SUBLIME!'
Jacqui Baverstock, Nurse Manager/coach

'I was wavering at a crossroads, a mist lifted and a large red stiletto shoe with Well Heeled Divas appeared and pointed out my true direction to creativity, fun and a better life.'
Diane Honeywell, Virtual PA

'Bottled inspiration – it was excellent.'
Rae Stephenson, Entrepreneur

'One of the most enlightening 48 hours of my life.  I didn't realise just how powerful it would be to spend time focussing on me.'
Claire James, PR Consultant

'Life-changing – it opened the door that was keeping me from my future.'
Judith Hanson, Entrepreneur

'I left the workshop with an unparalleled sense of self that has stayed with me ever since.  The weekend encouraged me to look at my life in a way that embraced all that I have been, all that I am and all that I could be.  It was truly enlightening.'
Mumtaz Hussain, Lawyer

'An amazing weekend with a group of like-minded, supportive women.  The Divas passion and enthusiasm for inspiring and empowering other women to take a step up to a happier, more fulfilling life is contagious.  I now see things in a much more positive way, have a great peer group and believe anything is possible.'
Paula Ferdinales, Event Manager

'I did not know what the workshop had in store for me, only that it would radically change things for me.  And WOW! I experienced some huge shifts in thinking that has changed my long term goals for the future.'
Caroline Heward, Wellness & Stress Coach

'Thank you, I know this will change my life.  I finally managed to identify what was limiting me and it is now so clear to me that I have been compromising my values on a daily basis.  No wonder I have not been happy.  It is now time to make a change and I am ready to step up.'
Helen Farstad, Senior Bank Manager

Jane warns.... Single Girls - Beware the Princess Complex!

I  cannot tell you how many times I have had this conversation with single women. 'So, what are you looking for.....'  Well he has to be tall, handsome, in his forties, comfortable with himself and emotionally intelligent, successful with a well paid job or good business, own house, own hair and own teeth, have a sense of independence and be well groomed, know how to work a washing machine and be handy around the house, be able to fix the car/garden/roof, and be good in bed.'

'Also it is important he has no baggage, no kids from a previous relationship and preferably no ex wife!'

'I want him just to be waiting for me, in fact scrub that, I want him to come find me and sweep me off my feet!'

Oh boy, this is the princess complex ladies. Be careful what you wish for, can you live up to these expectations too?  Have you got no baggage?  Are you perfect?

I find these conversations both frustrating and sad.  We ALL have baggage and a history, in fact it is our history that defines us and makes us interesting.  Do you really want a potential life partner with no life experiences?

Attraction is not driven by a checklist; Love is not a science, in fact how boring would it be if it was?

Go with the flow Divas - just say yes and see what happens!

Jane rants...Is the age of chilvalry dead or did we kill it!?

Talking to my husband the other day (only been married a few weeks so I still feel like the Queen everytime I say that!) as he arrived home from an errand to the bank and he was not a happy chap.  Apparently, he had held the door open for a woman behind him and no sooner had she walked through it she looked at him with utter disgust and said 'So, did you do that just because I am a woman?'

Well my man is known for the one liner and he replied 'No, I did that because I am a gentleman.'  One nil to him I reckon.  But this does sadden me, has our femininity taken such a battering that we feel such indignation at being treated as a woman?

We continue to punish men for daring to care for us, as if this somehow marginalises our independence or saps our strength.

Jane rants..Do we really want it ALL?

I don't know about you but I am a tad fed up with the media constantly tasking women with the notion of 'having it all'.  Apart from the fact I do not really know what it ALL is, I dont' ever remember demanding this nor ever suggesting I could sustain it, if I got it!

I was under the impression that our suffragette sisters and early pioneers petitioned for the right to choose whether we pursue a career or education or whether we prefer to be a full time mother/home-maker. or god forbid, whether we choose all three!

Return of the Well Heeled Divas - blogsite 'goes live', email back up

So here it is, after what seems like an eternity, the all new WellHeeledDivas.com blogsite is finally here.

"Blogsite? Blogsite? What's a blogsite we hear you say..." Well, it's actually just a website, but with a few  advantages over a traditional website:

It's dynamic - we'll be updating the blog with fresh, relevant content on a regular basis. Along with the odd 'funny', you'll find articles, audios and videos about leadership, entrepreneurship and wealth contribution from the female perspective along with links to useful resources and conversations going on elsewhere in the 'blogosphere'. Use the 'Categories' and 'Recent Posts' menu in the right hand column to find what you're looking for. You'll also be able to keep abreast of any news from our 'Divadom'  What's more...